When Life is Unclear, Take 1 Step at a Time

“‘I can’t see a way through’ said the boy. ‘Can you see your next step?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Just take that’ said the horse” ~ The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy.

The path of life is often unclear. The road ahead uncertain.

Much like in a snow storm. “If only it would stop snowing, I might be able to see the road ahead!”

Or going through a torrential downpour. Or even attempting to cut through extraordinarily thick fog.

We spend our whole lives seeing things. And when that is taken away from us by forces beyond our control, we fixate on what we once had and expect those forces to bow to our will to see again.

But consider this, different people respond differently to what they see.

Here’s an example: I was once driving early one morning through the Appalachian mountains. It was foggy. At one point I realized, “It’s so strange to realize that just beyond the edge of this road is a cliff with a drop of at least a few hundred feet that the fog won’t let me see!”

Did I need to see the drop to keep driving? No.

I kept my eyes on the road and did what I know how to do. Steer the car and follow the road in front of me 1 mile at a time, even 1 foot at a time, until I arrived safely to my destination.

My point is that we don’t always want nor need to see what’s in front of us, or out in the distance.

Maybe that snow, downpour, fog is doing us a favor. Maybe we are supposed to tap into our other senses which are more beneficial. Maybe we are supposed to simply focus on our next step.

The Great Expanse

Imagine standing on the edge of a cliff. Or by a window of one of the world’s tallest buildings. How about the edge of a waterfall leading out towards a grand valley of greenery? What goes through your mind?

In each of these scenarios, we have the common element of height. But shifting the context to different sights may elicit different responses.

Some may react with fear on the edge of a cliff, but wonderment at the edge of a waterfall. Still others might respond with amazement in a tall building where one feels secure inside a metal structure, and be afraid of taking the window seat in an airplane. And there are some who can take in the experience with no reaction at all.

Those amazing and scary scenarios are essentially our dreams and visions for the future.

If we truly saw the magnitude of our dreams at the outset, we would never place 1 foot towards them.

We would more likely be filled with fear!

“I could never do that.” “That’s too much to handle for any one person.” “That would take a person greater than me to accomplish in a lifetime. ” “I have bills to pay and a family to feed.” “The journey from where I am is too great.”

There are all kinds of rationalizations which fear uses to cloak itself in our minds. We end up thinking we’re being smart and doing the right thing to put those dreams away upon a shelf of fantasies.

Why do we do this? We simply do not see a clear path to the end goal. We see ourselves standing on the edge of a cliff leading into a great expanse with no way across.

What if We Could Get Across

But what if we COULD get across? Because after all, we CAN get across. And we do not need the aid of our sight.

The only requirement is our vision and our own two feet.

With these, we are equipped with the knowledge of where we want to be and the ability to take us there one step at a time.

Life has a funny way of happening to us.

We have a dream. We have a vision. And we start pursuing that dream, whatever it is.

The bizarre thing is that a dream is clearest at the beginning of a journey, gets muddled somewhere in the middle, and we don’t see the light shine until just before arriving.

The way forward is never easy to see. However sight and vision are not one in the same.

And we can travel towards our vision one step at a time.

1 Step at a Time

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” ~ Lao Tzu

We’ve all heard this quote before, or some similar variation. We know it’s supposedly a wise saying, but why is it wise?

Most people would come to the conclusion that in order to get to where you’re going, you should get started. And that makes sense.

But there are many more lessons. For example:

Every step is a new beginning.

Or we can always pick up where we left off.

Or we can tread off the path, create our own path, come back to the original path, and still find our way to our destination so long as we keep walking.

No matter what step we take, be it the first or the last, it is always a part of our journey.

Every step is simultaneously the beginning, middle, and end; Depending on where we choose to begin, continue, and finish.

There are many lessons to draw upon with every step. Every step of your journey will expand your mind little by little. Every step will reveal to you a vision greater than you could have originally imagined because every step is a teacher.

Every step helps you learn a new experience in life. Every new experience learned will help you become the person you must be to achieve your destination.

Every cut, every scrape, teaches you that you will heal, that you can press forward, and you can continue one step at a time.

So take that step. Learn from it, then take another. Just like a child beginning to learn how to walk.

We are Constantly Learning How to Walk

We are constantly learning how to walk throughout life.

The walk may change. The walk of medical school, the walk of business, the walk of surviving, the walk of being a son/daughter, husband/wife, father/mother, the walk of finding ourselves in the world and finding where we belong.

Life is a walk.

People Judge the Way We Walk

This aspect of life will always be a part of our journey.

It happens. Everybody always has something to say. From the perfect stranger you might have friended on social media, to your family.

They are all teachers. Not that they can teach you the right way to do things (as many would have you believe). But they can teach you some indirect truths about yourself.

They can teach you of your integrity, your character, your determination.

So there is a weird balancing act. A balance of listening and not listening to others. This is determined by your perception of what others say.

We Judge Our Own Walk

We are truly our own worst critics.

Other people may judge us, but we often do not realize our self talk when alone.

Often, our “self talk” is simply other people’s thoughts that we may have internalized and repeat to ourselves.

Pay attention to your thoughts. Are they REALLY your thoughts? Or has someone else instilled their thought into your mind?

Appreciate the difference between your voice and the voice of others masquerading as your own.

That is where “shoulds” come from. “I should do this” or “I should do that”. The idea of how we should be doing something stems from what we’ve been conditioned to believe by external circumstances growing up.

However if there is something that generates from your internal mind, suddenly that word changes from “should” to a “need” or a “must”.

I NEED to do this. I MUST find a way to achieve this.

Suddenly there is an internal drive as opposed to external forces. The internal drive consistently guides you along your path to your goal. Whereas external forces spasmodically pushes you in any direction the wind happens to blow.

Be Kind to Yourself

Take the time necessary to appreciate who you are, not as a person; personality only constitutes a fraction of how you let the world see you. Instead, take the time to appreciate who you are as an individual.

This is going to take a lot of work. And the work will be extraordinarily hard. Especially as we continue to live the lives in which we have previously created.

So be kind to yourself.

When you decide that finding out who you are as an individual is important, you will realize that this is itself a journey that you must walk step by step.

It is a journey that is constantly evolving. You can choose to begin at any time. You can choose to stop at any time. And you can choose to pick up where you left off at any time.

The purpose is to step onto your path and see where it leads you. There will always be rough patches even if you walk the path you are meant to walk. Simply remember that these patches are your greatest teachers. Learn from them and move on.