“Pain is Inevitable. Suffering is Optional”

Why do we care about pain? Because pain can cause suffering.

But does all pain lead to suffering? No.

For example: We stubbed our toe hard. We might yell a few profanities, immediately sit down and begin nursing the toe like a baby that is crying.

Do we actually cry in this situation? Not usually.

Do we contemplate the existence of life and ask, “Why did this have to happen to me?” Maybe sometimes.

But are we actually suffering in this moment? Most likely not.

So this brings us back to the opening quote, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

No one really seems to know who first created this quote.

However there is a universal wisdom behind these words.

No matter who you are, what you do, what you have, where you came from, where you’re going, how you get there, you will experience pain in this life.

This pain can range anywhere from stubbed toes to the loss of loved ones.

So we each have a decision to make: Should we work with the pain, or against it. In other words, do we choose to suffer or do we learn our lesson.

Right off the bat, people tend to think that pain is bad. So we spend a great deal of time trying to avoid it or resist it.

However if you do not have pain in your life, then you’re not living a full life.

Pain is Our Life Coach

“Pain will leave once it is done teaching you.” ~ Bruce Lee

People avoid pain because we do not realize that it is one of life’s teachers. An instrumental master of guidance to teach us what we must learn.

I have personally been guilty of staying far away from pain. But like death, no one escapes pain.

However pain ensures that our lives are lived on purpose, has meaning, and propels us forward if used to fuel your drive.

So you have 2 options: Face it on your own terms head on, or face it with your back against the wall.

Either way, you will reach a point where you must learn the lesson it intends to teach you. How you choose to learn it determines the character of that lesson.

And if the character is inadequate to get you through the next step of your life, you may revisit that lesson. Or I should say that pain will revisit you.

So reconsider the pain or pains in your life. What is their purpose?

I do not want you to start contemplating “Why me?” That is not purposeful and provides no value or substance to our lives.

Instead, pay attention to unresolved issues. Pay particular attention to pain that seems to linger or revisit from time to time. Knots left loose that need to be tied.

We spend so much time avoiding it, that we must learn to acknowledge and accept it.

A Shift in Perspectives

There is a difference between saying, “I’m meant to have pain” versus “This pain was meant for me”.

What’s the difference? It’s a matter of perspective.

The former implies a victim mentality.

The latter implies a learner’s mentally and desire to grow from the experience of pain.

If you say to yourself, “I’m meant to have pain”, you communicate to your mind that there is no need to think about it. With no need to think comes no need to learn. And with no need to learn comes no need to improve. And no improvement means no personal growth or development.

We all know that. The problem is that we become so used to the pain that we become numb. We forget it’s actually a problem that must be resolved and not simply assumed to be the way life is.

“This pain was meant for me” implies a desire to befriend the experienced pain and learn from it. Not that you want to keep it in your life. However you would want to learn about why it exists to serve you. As well as how it can improve you.

Pain as an Investment

We invest ourselves into many things.

Relationships, spirituality, education, finances, goals, dreams, career, the list goes on.

Each of these things have an initial up-front investment.

We must take time to develop a relationship well. To do this, we must experience the associated pains found in a relationship which deepens our roots and love IF invested wisely.

We must take time to develop our spirituality. And appreciate the pain of realizing our divine connection is so limited so that we can yearn to grow more into a life of fulfillment through service to others.

We must invest time into our education. And when we do, we face the pain of many sleepless nights of study so that we may hone our craft into greater perfection.

Any area of life worth pursuing demands an investment of time and pain.

Time will broaden the horizon. Pain will create depth and meaning. Together, they bring about richness of life.

Our Lesson in Transformation

There are those people that have paid too much.

People have had a dream, a goal, a vision. And have made extensive sacrifices in its pursuit.

Broken relationships, close friends that are no longer talking with you, loved ones lost.

You need to ensure that these sacrifices were worth it!

But here’s the thing, pursuing a goal/ dream/ vision changes a person. Not necessarily in a bad way. However the pursuit of goals forces you to realign yourself so that things fall into place.

Your Inner Work

You must realign your life philosophy. You must realign your decisions. There must be a focus on the outcome you desire to achieve.

In short, significant interior work must be done which will then translate into external changes.

You have not changed as a person. You have transformed into a greater state of being and therefore a greater state of consciousness.

Step 1

The moment we decide to invest into ourselves is the moment we begin to force ourselves to grow into better individuals. This is the moment we step into the best version of ourselves.

That step will be difficult. However that step will have a sense of guidance.

There will be an inner “knowing” which will allow you to realize that although you don’t know where this step will take you or how it fits into the grand scheme of things, somehow this step is the right step.

Listen to your heart

While there is external pain at first as your world reorganizes itself to align with your internal compass, the pain produced from ignoring your needs is far worse.

Acknowledge any glimmer of happiness, or joy, or elatement.

Follow the path and explore the opportunities presented to you.

We must invest ourselves into ourselves. Our determination to grow and be better individuals comes from allowing pain to be our guide.

Consistent application over time will produce results.