Find Your Great Purpose When Life is Not Fair
That has to be one of the most frustrating ironies on the face of this planet. Why?
You have worked so hard. You put in the blood, sweat, and tears. You have been stressed. You made unbelievable sacrifices. And then…
Someone else comes along and does it without even breaking a sweat.
They sell their house in less than a week. They pass an extraordinarily difficult exam on their first try and hardly studied for a month. They got married after a few months; meanwhile you’re going on 5 years without a hint of a ring. You’ve worked hard for years for that promotion and got looked over by someone who started a few months ago. Your child was born with a medical condition and you are forced to live within the uncertainty minute by minute only dreaming to take away your child’s pain.
You’re left thinking, “What the expletive”?! (And that’s putting it nicely)
How can they do so little and reap great rewards? Meanwhile you’re still slaving and looking for your breakthrough.
It’s not fair!
It’s Not Fair
“Life’s not fair. So get over it.”
That might be true, but let’s step back from automatic retorts for a moment (which really just serve to disguise our own disappointments in life and does not allow us to really explore why we are disappointed and learn the valuable lessons disappointment can teach us).
So, you’re right. It’s not fair. Let’s sit with that for a few moments.
I personally tend to feel disappointed, angry, and even depressed.
You might feel these feelings and/or other feelings. That’s fine.
But stop and observe them. Don’t think about them. Don’t try to judge them.
It’s not fair. Life’s not fair. And you are logically right. You are also emotionally right.
This is not an opportunity to dwell in misery. This is a golden opportunity to grow.
Take all the time you need to let the monkeys in your head throw their fit. Those monkeys can cloud the truth within your heart. Once settled, what do you see?
What do you see in your heart?
Your Heart Knows a Greater Purpose
I had MY plans. I had MY expectations. THIS is how it’s supposed to be. THAT is the outcome I want. MY hard work should lead to THIS result. A + B = C
Well I am slowly realizing that while I can only do simple math, my heart is doing 4th level calculus behind the scenes.
It’s often hard to follow my heart because it’s always hard to follow the math. But I find that I am wise to realize 2 things:
- Don’t get caught up in the details of the math
- I don’t have to understand calculus of the heart to be part of the equation and/or the solution
I often find there is a greater purpose than I initially planned.
And it’s surprisingly appropriate for the changes my life has taken.
While I sit here desperately trying to add A + B and wonder how I could have possibly gotten to ZXY, I find out the ZXY is a better solution than C.
And it slowly dawns on me: I could not have planned for this perfect solution even if I tried! So I should place my faith in my heart.
Trust your heart to be a liaison between yourself and the universe.
“Emotions Make Excellent Servants but Tyrannical Masters”
~ John Seymour
I do not advocate following your emotions believing them to be matters of the heart (a commonly romantic misunderstanding in my opinion).
There is a difference between emotions and feelings. Here’s how you know the difference:
Your due date is close, everything checks out at your last Ob/Gyn visit, your water breaks, you rush to the hospital in excitement and then deliver your stillborn child. How utterly devastated would you be in this moment? Your heart would spill over and explode with heavy grief for the beautiful baby you nurtured within yourself and never got a chance to meet.
You would be emotional; and rightfully so.
That same mother, having never met her child, will still have feelings about what is best for her baby. She will still feel what decisions would wrought further turmoil and which decisions would bring inner peace.
In the same scenario above, both emotions and feelings are conveyed through the heart.
One appreciates how unfair life has been to the mother and the child. The other takes an unfair situation and removes that judgement to appreciate the situation for what it is; A loving relationship. Then attempts to bring about the best possible outcome for their mutual benefit.
Finding Your Gift in the Darkness
“Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars…”
Now that same mother may have started a foundation to help mothers through the grieving process and accept the blessing with pure love.
The mother who might have benefited from the first mother’s foundation might start another foundation dedicated to research which can improve the health outcomes of other newborns.
An event, circumstance, or situation may be unfair. But the concept of fair versus unfair evaporates in the face of love.
But what if the star is so far away you still cannot see it in the dark?
People may think the darkness is a lack of love and that we must bravely enter a “no man’s land” to grow into unknown territory. On the contrary, love already exists even in the darkest places; Especially in the darkest places.
We must open our eyes to what has been already revealed to us and trust that the stars in the darkness will be revealed as we get closer on our personal journey. It is a journey that we must take one step at a time; one star at a time.
Therefore we must focus on what we can see, always looking into the darkness to find the next step of our journey; the next star which we could not see before reaching our present star; our present position.
The world is filled with unfair. It is filled with cruelty. It is filled with atrocities and tragedies.
We have every human right to be emotional in these situations.
It Always Comes Back to the Present
Only God is omnipotent and can see everything throughout all time.
We can gripe about unfair happenings and let ourselves spiral downward into bitter resentment. But this makes us focus on the past misgivings or dashed future expectations.
Our job is to focus on the present and determine our best next step.
We must walk our best walk and continually improve every step taken with every step we take.
Our next step will be right for us. And our next step will compliment another’s best next step on their own journey.
While we must live in the linear timeline of the physical world, our hearts are linked to one another throughout time so that our steps impact another’s steps.
Together we grow.
Please leave comments below. I especially appreciate any feedback as well as anything you would like me to write about in the future.
Thank you for reading!
