How You Can Achieve Greater Joy
Joy seems elusive. There is certainly a lot going on in the world. And we are often bombarded with the negative happenings of the world.
Turn on the news, what do you often see? From world news to local news, we often find negative information with a spritz of positivity to break up the monotony.
Heading out to work, we become envious of our neighbor’s car/ house/ family.
We get to work and hear the latest gossip about our coworkers.
Arrive home and find all the problems that have accumulated throughout the day.
We essentially find ourselves in a rut of less than joyous existence. And if we are not careful, we may find ourselves depressed.
So how can you escape the world of negativity that threatens to steal away your peace of mind and enter a world of joy?
Here’s a hint: You don’t actually have to go anywhere!
Where Do You Find Joy?
As human beings, we are fascinating creatures. We have the capacity to find what we want to find in any circumstance so long as we are looking for it. Don’t believe me? I will provide an example of an admirable woman.
Saint Mother Teresa
Saint Mother Teresa spent her time among the “poorest of the poor” and still found joy.
She stated, “Joy is prayer. Joy is strength. Joy is love. Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. God loves a cheerful giver. She gives most who gives with joy.”
The circumstances in which Saint Mother Teresa lived were dire. She was later discovered to have experienced what she alluded to as “the darkness” throughout her time with the poor. She had felt that God was absent despite her work for Him. Ironically, she may have found the greatest communion with God as she may have been experiencing His longing for the love of His people.
In short, absolutely nothing was easy for Saint Mother Teresa. Yet she was committed and still found joy. In fact, her deep appreciation of joy likely stemmed from her deep appreciation of “the darkness”.
We cannot know the light without knowing the darkness. And we cannot know true joy without knowing true sorrow.
Therefore our level of joy can only be determined by how deeply we allow ourselves to experience sorrow.
Joy is an Internal Experience
As can be seen by Saint Mother Teresa’s example, joy is not dictated by external circumstances. She created joy as an internal experience regardless of the circumstances she found herself in.
And in some cases, her internal circumstances did not even dictate her ability to find joy; Which takes the experience of joy to a completely different level!
This revelation did not make hardship any easier. The basic necessities were often a struggle and certainly unfair to those in hardship.
However if the experience of joy is not tied to circumstances, be they external or internal, then that is good news!
Because this means we can always CHOOSE to be joyous.
Conversely, we can choose to be sorrowful in a joyous environment; as well as envious, angry, fearful, and so on.
Just go to any celebration and you may find people hiding in a corner frightened to start conversation, or people taking a disagreement a bit too far, or gossip about how someone cannot believe that she wore something that makes her look so good.
Do These Things Not Deepen Our Joy?
Although the emotions of fear, anger, and envy can run high, they do not run deep.
They are often merely superficial. They tend to bruise the ego. Much like a slap on the hand or scratch of the skin.
And yet we spend so much time on them. Why spend time on something that provides little to no value? These are truly negative emotions, as they do nothing to provide us with meaning in our lives.
Redefining Negative Versus Positive Emotions
When asked about negative emotions, people may often cite emotions such as anger, envy, fear, shame, guilt, and so on.
When asked about positive emotions, people may often cite emotions such as happiness, joy, love, contentment, and so on.
However while these may be true, I would posit that negative and positive emotions are not to be taken at face value.
As Saint Mother Teresa must have realized, “the darkness” she spoke of enhanced her capacity for joy in her work with the poor.
So since her sorrow and longing created the space for joy and love, can we not consider these to be positive emotions as well?
Her love and joy took root and was nourished by supposedly “negative” emotions. But the emotions of sorrow and longing provided the substance of joy and love.
Therefore we have the power to transform the apparently “bad” towards the good. Not that a transformation takes place, but that they are one in the same. Much like a coin that has two sides.
How to Find Joy
The cliche answer is that Joy is within each of us. It is always there. It never leaves us. We simply choose to focus our attention on different aspects of life.
This is why other self-help writings attempt to bring your attention to joy by getting you to focus on moments in life that elicited the emotion.
They may also recommend practices like daily meditation, gratitude journals, or hobbies to bring about more joy in life. But these activities are hollow in themselves. They simply create the space to experience joy.
And as we learned from Saint Mother Teresa, any circumstance can create the space for joy and infuse it with the substance that brings it to life.
So take time to consider what is truly meaningful in your life. And take time to consider why these things are meaningful to you.
Often, the “things” that bring joy to your life are not things. They are relationships.
Relationships with loved ones. Our parents, our siblings, our spouses/significant others, our sons and daughters.
We all know what it means to miss someone even when they are standing right next to you. Saint Mother Teresa’s experience was similar and certainly more profound than I can imagine.
But take the time to explore these feelings and let it drive you towards greater joy.
